My Husband Stares At Other Women – Should I be worried?

My husband and I have been married for over 20 years, but he keeps staring at ladies every time we go out together.

And you are afraid he does worse when you are not there with him, right?

This attitude is natural and it may mean nothing, because if it did mean anything, you would have lost him long ago to another woman.

Staring at other ladies without minding the fact that you are there with him is just him being real and having a clear conscience. He always come back to you, I mean after ogling those ladies in your presence and absence, he always come home to you.

He doesn’t come home to compare you to them, does he? And he hasn’t ever hinted at leaving you for another woman, has he ever?

What if he was a dishonest man that would pretend to keep all his on focus you but when you are out of sight, he hook up with one of the ladies and have a serious affair that would threaten your relationship with him? Would you know about it quickly enough to prepare your heart for the worst before it’s too late? It’s unlikely that you would.

I think your husband is a honest man, faithful and committed to the relationship for a life time. Your heart is his home. His kind is rare.

You shouldn’t be worried about him hurting you. You should rather be worried that your fear could cause you to do something that might harm you, your man and the relationshop.

Read this;

Esther was married and enjoying her marriage to Paul in peace for 15 years before something happened. They had two beautiful children.

Esther worked in the hospital. She worked Monday to Friday and was always home before 5.p.m. to prepare dinner. She was used to Paul coming home from work before dinner.

That stopped, Paul started coming home from work not earlier than 10 p.m. Paul didn’t wait for Esther to ask before he explained the reason to her.

“I’ve a new boss now. He has a lot of things to learn about her new job role, so she wants me to stick around after others had gone and show her how things run here.”

“How long is this going to last?” Esther had wanted to know.

“Not more than one week or two I guess. I am in no position to know.”

Esther sighed heavily, she was caught between resting the matter right there and asking one more question. She decided to ask just one more question.

“Darling, she doesn’t have a family to go home early to?” She asked cautiously.

” I learnt she’s divorced…Paul began then stopped and asked. “Honey.., it’s nothing to worry about. I am the head of operations, the most comoetent person in the office to help her hit the ground running.” He stoped and added before Esther could say anything,

“I am very hungry honey, can you get me something to eat please?”

Esther decoded against pursuing the matter any further that night. She got Paul his food and both of them retired to bed. But Paul didn’t stop coming home late, Esther was inclined to believe that Paul was having an affair even without a proof.

Few days later, she stumbled on what had a semblance of proof on Paul’s phone. It was a chat with Kelvin, Paul’s colleague.

Kelvin: “Man, where are you? Your babe has been searching every where for you.?

Paul: “I went for lunch at that our usual spot. I am being held down by a friend I ran into. Charles and I were like twins in the university. we haven’t seen one another for over 18 years now. I will be back in less than five minutes.”

Kelvin: ‘Ok. you’d better come back eafrlier than that because the way she’s asking everyone for you is arounsing suspicion.”

Paul: “Hey man, she’s my boss and I am a married man remember?”

Kelvin: “It’s not me…just come back. I think what she needs you for is very urgent.

Paul: “I am on my way.”

Esther returned the phone to where she picked it. “That’s it! So Paul is having with his boss.” She thought.

She reached for the phone again, to go through all the messages slowly. She decided against it and turned her gaze to Paul. Paul turned to his side and continued to sleep.

She got up from the bed and walked barefooted to the kitchen. She drank a glass of water and sat on the kitchen stool and checked the clock on the kitchen wall, 5.a.m. Saturday morning.

Paul wouldn’t be going to work, so he woildnt be waking up before 9a.m. She had a plan. She went to see Samson, the janitor at Paul’s office.

Samson didn’t have to watch for long before he saw the proof that Paul was dating his boss.

“I had always felt that tthere was something going on between my boss and that stingy guy.” Samson said to himself after Esther had left.
Paul used to give Samson tips now and then to augment his little income. He stopped doing that and also stopped talking to Samson about the need to go back to school when he realized that the lad had two wasteful pasttimes; gambling and smoking weed.

Samson felt the envelope in his pocket, brought it out and counted the content. It was a mind blowing take off fee. “Now I’ve to finish this quickly and get the balance.” He smiled to himself. He couldn’t wait for monday to begin the assignment.

On Wednesday evening, he got his proof. At about 9p.m, Samson saw his boss, Ms. Feka come out of her office, leaning on Paul’s shoulder. Paul supported her all the way down to her car. Helped her get into the passenger’s side, got in and drove off. Samson put a call through to Esther.

It was 11 p.m, when Paul got home that night. He had taken a cab back to his office and picked his car. He opened the door quietly and let himself in. He didn’t want to wake up members of the household. He didn’t have to because Esther was wide awake and waiting in the living room. He wasn’t surprised to see her awake.

“I’m sorry darling, did you try to call? My cell phone battery ran out energy.” Paul paused, Esther didn’t say anything. She just stood with her hands on her waist and watched him.

Paul moved closer, held her hands and attempted to give her a hug but she pushed him away.

“Let’s stop pretending Paul, I’ll be going away for few weeks.” She said calmly and looked him straight in the eye, “I want to give you time to decide who you really need between your boss and I.”

“What? I can explain…” Paul began to protest but she covered her ears with her hands and walked out of the living room.

In the morning, Esther packed some bags and left with the children to stay in another part of the city.

Paul had spent all night trying to talk her out of leaving without success. He tried again in the morning for about three hours. Failed again, accepted his fate and went to work very late that day.

Esther was on vacation, for her, everything had happened at the right time. She wouldn’t be going to work in the hospital for three weeks. She believed, three weeks would be enough for Paul to sort himself out. Or .

It was when she resumed her work in the hospital at the end of her vacation that she discovered that Paul actually told her the truth about what happened that night.

Angela, her colleague informed her that Paul’s boss’s teenage son was admitted in the hospital. She was surprised that Paul didn’t tell Esther.

The boy was partying and drinking with his friends. They climbed automobile roofs and danced. Then an accident happened, the young man, obviously drunk, fell off and hit his head on the ground.

When the accident happened, his friends became sober and gathered his unconscious body into the car while someone remembered to call his mother.

Ms. Feka was working with Paul in her office when the call came. When the call ended, she dropped the phone on the floor and collapsed on the floor. Paul had gone round the table and helped her to sit in her chair. Got her a glass of water and entreated her to drink.

“What happened Ma?”

“Paul take me to the city hospital.” She had managed to say.

Paul had done just that. On the way to the hospital, he knew he was going to get home later than any other night. He wondered what he was going to tell Esther.

Before the call came, his boss had told him that she had learnt everything she needed. Paul had confirmed that to mean that the days of getting home after the family’s dinner time were over

Esther was mad at herself when she found out that everything Paul said about that night was true. She went back to her husband and apologized. Paul was happy to have her and the children back.

What would’ve happened if nature didn’t create an environment for Esther and Paul to get back together quickly? Both would probably have drifted apart and maybe, ended up nothing finding true love and honesty in future relationships.

So isn’t it wise not to rock the boat, that’s safe and moving everyone forward in a calm water, tossed occasionally by gentle harmless ripples? It is.


Don’t make hasty major decisions in your relationship. Before you take any action that will change what everyone involved is comfortable with, make sure you exhaust your love, understanding, patience and compassion.

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