Why Does My Ex Want Me Back?

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The Podcast of this article is on Spotify.

At the beginning of the rains,
A sigh of relief welcomes its blessings,
Many days into the rains, overburdened by the wetness,
We wish for the sun and it appears;
The heat grows by the day and then becomes too intense to bear,
We pray and long for the rainy days to come and rescue us from the heat;
Haven’t we realized that we receive everything in its incompleteness?
The incompleteness is complemented by the generosity to give of oneself completely
to everything received in its incompleteness.

Talina was confused, she leaned her head over the sofa. She placed her finger on the screen of her mobile phone and made to call Charles but decided against it.
Charles’ phone number was the first on the call history list. The last call she just received was from him. It was the call that caused her to be in the confused state she was.

“Should I call him back and set up a meeting with him?” She asked herself as she ran fingers through her hair.

“…wouldn’t that be dangerous?” She sighed, in her heart, she could feel the urge to see Charles again begin to grow.

“No!” Talina screamed out loud, sat up, dropped the phone on the sofa and buried her face in her hands.

“I did nothing bad to him…everything was fine when he kicked me out of his life.” She muttered to herself and began to sob.

“I begged him not to end the relationship after what I had been through for him…” She trailed off as she her tears began to blur her vision.

Her phone rang. She picked it up and wiped away tears with the back of her hand, it was Michael. She allowed the phone to ring out.

“I will call him back.” She whispered.

Several months after Charles dumped her, she feared men, avoided them and doubted the existence of love. It was Michael that came along and gave her love, understanding and waited patiently for her to have the heart to get into another relationship.

Talina stood up and paced her living room as she wondered.

“Two years after breaking me heart, why would Charles be so desperate to have me back?”

Talina realized that his calls are becoming too frequent and Michael was beginning to be suspicious and apprehensive. She had told Michael about how her relationship with Charles ended. And she had also assured Michael of her total commitment to the relationship.

She couldn’t imagine herself hurting Michael. He supported her throughout what she believed, was the toughest period of her life yet. So, she believed she owed him her faithfulness.

She came to a stop, stared at the wall in front of her and said with finality, “Charles, I don’t want you back into my life. I will not allow you or anybody to walk in and walk out of my life any time they choose. I am in control of my life.”
She stared down at the cell phone in her hand and returned Michael’s call.

Now, why does your ex want you back?

Your ex may want you back for the simple reason that they can’t get from someone else, that very invaluable thing you gave. You alone have what they never realized was very fundamental to their happiness when you were with them.

They now want you back not to give what you’re missing but to take what you alone can give. When an ex comes back to get back what only you can give them, it’s hard to know the level of significance of their willingness to treat you differently than they did the last time. Don’t forget they’re not back to give you what you’re missing. So accepting to go back is taking a shot in the dark.

Sometimes an ex may want you back for a long term, mutually beneficial relationship. The awareness that they have an almost zero chance of having someone else balance their life the way you did could be a wake-up-call. Your ex may become a trustworthy partner, a caring partner and a dependable partner when they have a second chance.

Giving a second chance to an ex, as mentioned earlier, is risky. The reason is, your ex may not have changed from that guy that broke your heart. They may come back only to take, take, give nothing back in return and make no commitments to build a stable long term relationship. So, what should you do when your ex wants you back?

If your ex shows up when you’re in a better relationship that’s giving you peace of mind and has a promising future, it’s wise to stay where you are. Stay where you are and resist the temptation to go back to your ex no matter how strong the desire to be with them again is. In a relationship, peace of mind is the most valuable benefit

If you’re not in a relationship when your ex shows up at your door, you could them a second chance. Begin cautiously, test the water with your toes, dictate the pace and the direction. Your ex would not have any choice than to follow you.

Although a relationship is not a place for competition, still you hold all the aces when your ex shows up and wants you back.

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