Do you think it is in the genes of men to cheat on their partners, get caught sometimes and consequently, break some trusting and loving hearts?
Dr. Jordan writes;
“According to a New York Times article (Sunday, May
24, 2015), “Infidelity Lurks in Your Genes.” You’ve got to be kidding, right? This
is one of the newest
efforts to explain what is going on in our love lives in purely physical terms.
The problem is in your
body. Or that old and tired argument that people, especially men, are basically animals fighting
off the temptation to have intercourse with every available female, you
guessed it, in order to
spread their genes. Of
course this is not
something you, guy, will think consciously about. Its just the reason why
you have a lousy time
committing to love. Bull.
You see the basic problem with this kind of thinking,
or explaining is that it
takes us away from
realizing that how we
“behave” in our love lives has everything to do with what we’ve “learned”
about love relationships growing up.
At a very vulnerable time in our lives we were learning
about how to act in a love relationships from all the people in our lives that mattered. As a clinical psychologist I
encounter the repetition of these fundamental lessons over and over again in people’s love
lives. The only thing that is missing, is a consciousness
that it is happening.
There’s a big difference between knowing what
you’re repeating in your own love relationships
( say for example, how your father/mother
cheated on your mother/ father in the family), and not consciously knowing
that it is happening. I
certainly met a lot of
people over the last 30years who unconsciously repeated what they
learned so many times that inevitably they grew tired of the hurt and trouble, and eventually resigned from an active
love life altogether.
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