“If the people we love
are stolen from us,
the way to have them
live on is to never
stop loving them.”
…but wouldn’t it continue to hurt,
if you continued to love, a dear one,
you can’t see no more
and touch no more?
It’s a difficult situation,
because your power to let go is swallowed up by the uncontrollable power to hold on and grieve on;
What Can You Do?
“In the beginning, you may find that taking care of details and keeping busy helps. For a while, family and friends may be around to assist you. But, there comes a time when you will have to face the change in your life. Here are some ideas to keep in mind:
Take care of yourself. Grief can be hard on your health. Exercise regularly, eat healthy food, and get enough sleep. Bad habits, such as drinking too much alcohol or smoking, can put your health at risk. Try to eat right. Some widowed people lose interest in cooking and eating. It may help to have lunch with friends. Sometimes, eating at home alone feels too quiet.
Turning on the radio or TV during meals can help. For information on nutrition and cooking for one, look for helpful books at your local library or bookstore or online.
Talk with caring friends. Let family and friends know when you want to talk about your spouse. They may be grieving too and may welcome the chance to share memories. Accept their offers of help and company, when possible. Join a grief support group. Sometimes, it helps to talk with people who also are grieving. Check with hospitals, religious communities, and local agencies to find out about support groups. Choose a support group where you feel comfortable sharing your feelings and concerns.
Members of support groups often have helpful ideas or know of useful resources based on their own experiences. Online support groups make it possible to get help without leaving home.
Visit with members of your religious community. Many people who are grieving find comfort in their faith. Praying, talking with others of your faith, reading religious or spiritual texts, or listening to uplifting music also may bring comfort.
Try not to make any major changes right away. It’s a good idea to wait for a while before making big decisions, like moving or changing jobs.
See your doctor. Keep up with your usual visits to your healthcare provider. If it has been awhile, schedule a physical and bring your doctor up to date on any pre-existing medical condition.”